Self-help-self-healing

Modifying Behavior

For modifying behavior my approach for myself and those close to me has been different from the approach used by most groups at this time. However, I have found it effective.

Many years ago when I was an administrator I would sit with terminal cancer patients and talk to them about what was on their mind. I had observed that most people would live out their beliefs so if I could effect those inner thoughts I found I could effect the disease process. If the subject went to a specific heath issue I would suggest they see it getting smaller and going away. A kind of mini-imagery or visualizing session. Often the person would drift into a trance state as I spoke. This concerned me so I attended training in NLP, communication and hypnosis. As I was finishing my studies one of my staff came to me. She was someone who smoked about a pack of cigarettes a day. At a routine examination her doctor had seen what he thought was something on her chest x-ray. He had prescribed a more thorough set of tests. Knowing about my experiences she came to me and asked if I would put her under and tell her not to smoke. I was not wild about the idea but I did as she asked. It worked for three days at which time she started smoking again. Later in the evening I pondered her situation and realized my error. I asked her if we could repeat the process but this time I would do what I thought would work. She agreed and we proceeded as before. However, this time as she drifted within I suggested she see her smoking as a set of experiences just like playing with dolls or other things she had done in the past. However, now she could see her cup filled having no further need to continue with this activity. She could now release this, in a healthy way, and go on to healthier patterns. Further, that she would now see herself as someone who never smoked or ever needed to. She could now enter a smoke filled room and move through it as though she had never smoked or desired this activity. She could go on just as she had left other patterns in her youth she would now move forward leaving this behavior and in a healthy way. She stopped smoking and to the best of my knowledge she never restarted. She had effectively taken on a new mind set. When she finally went through her more detailed x-rays her lungs were clear and there was no evidence of illness. The secret is to take on a new consciousness. Think of someone you know who has never had your inclination or desire. A lifetime non-smoker easily walks through a smoke filled room. They may want to leave the room but they never have the desire to light up. I know some thin people who when they are hungry go eat an apple or piece of fruit then are completely satisfied. They never desire a large meal. Much like cooking if you keep putting the same ingredients in the pan you will get the same results but change the ingredients and you have a new entree. If you shift your set of experiences and beliefs to a new mind you get the results of that new mind.

Looking back I do not believe programming people that they will always battle their addictions is a worthwhile approach because it empowers the addiction. You need to build those qualities and experiences that by themselves will eliminate the negative behavior. It makes more sense to me to have them focus on how it would be to never have taken that path or what would it take for them to leave that pattern. This is not a new idea I read the concept in a book about old yoga writings. The approach there was to stop energizing the old thinking and only think the new thinking. Imagine what it be like if they suddenly forgot how they started that pattern. I believe you energize the
missing positive behavior. If successful you liberate them to a better life. I would suggest to them to spend ten minutes each night asking themselves how it would feel to discover their addiction was gone and forgotten. I would ask them to go deeper into the feeling each night. If nothing else this would stir the mind and cause feedback. Your feedback would come as thoughts or memories drifting from the unconscious into the conscious daily awareness. Paying attention to these seemingly random things you would begin to understand how this behavior started or is empowered. The memories or images that would come to mind as intuitions or in dreams would clarify what gives power to this pattern. Then armed with the correct information you go deal directly with the pattern. I would have them empower themselves to heal this pattern in a healthy way. In doing this they would reclaim their lost power. I am not denying the whole picture of interaction between family or close friends for every change in the person will be reflected in the relationships of those around them.

In one interesting circumstance one of my son's friends came to me and said he was told preliminary tests indicated he had a life threatening disease. He clearly felt powerless faced with this reality. He asked what he should do. I told him I
would continue with whatever therapy was recommended by the doctors but I would also take time each night for a simple exercise. I told him I would relax in a place free of distractions then I would see myself 70 or 80 years old looking back over my life. Then I would see myself healed and hold that idea until I could feel how good it would be to heal from this challenge. I said I would repeat this every night sometimes seeing the healing happening in different ways but I would always see myself healed completely before I would relax from the exercise. He liked my idea an said he would do it. I saw him several months later and he told me that further tests showed him healthy. I just reminded him to be thankful for his health.

The unconscious is very much like a garden. The thought patterns and behavior that are nurtured with more thinking grows and the patterns that are released and forgotten weaken and pass. The deep patterns mold and create our bodies and the experiences we attract. The key is to only nurture what you want.

The man who taught me the fundamentals of acupuncture always maintained that most people if they could get balanced referring to their diet and energy systems would loose the craving which is the basis for many addictions. I never saw his theory tested but it is worth considering. You can comfortably shift the diet to healthier foods and supplement with any good natural based vitamin mineral to remove this as a behavior cause. Following a better diet routine for a few weeks should show you if this is related to the behavior.

Another option worth investigating would be the Bach Flower Remedies. They have blends for countering addictive behavior and they are not as specific as the homeopathic remedies so they are easier to use. They can be used along with other medicines and they have a large following so I assume they work. The basic premise I was told was that Dr. Bach, the founder, discovered that his patients would make a mental shift prior to their having an illness. His research lead him to believe he could reverse or offset this mental shift with teas made from flower petals. He found certain teas worked best for certain mental shifts. He would brew the tea mix some with pure water with a small amount of alcohol as a preservative and dispense it as needed. The rest is history. To the best of my knowledge they are completely safe. I am only familiar with the Rescue Remedy, a blend of several essences that are used during depression, trauma and crisis. I find it works well. I have not had the need for these remedies so I have not worked with them. I have read stories of people who put the Rescue Remedy in their pet's water and the pet was cured of it's illness. I have used it with my pets during stressful times but only to take the edge off and help them relax. The down side is you are back using a chemical potentially dependent therapy.

You can find a video covering using anchors for behavior modification on my Anchoring page.